Thiaw's Demolition Job Leaves Everton in Free Fall
Moyen Score Futmetrix: 50/100. Five goals and a VAR controversy masked a match devoid of genuine tension or drama.
When One Defender Becomes a Wrecking Ball
Malick Thiaw didn't just score twice—he announced himself as Newcastle's most dangerous player in a performance that exposed Everton's defensive frailty within 60 seconds. The German centre-back opened the scoring from Lewis Miley's assist at the 1st minute, setting a Stakes so suffocating that Everton never recovered. This wasn't tactical dominance. This was a mugging.
Newcastle's Intensity came in waves, each one more clinical than the last. Miley added a second at 25 minutes, then Woltemade made it 3-0 before halftime. By the 58th minute, Thiaw's second goal—a header from Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall's... wait, Hall was assisting for Newcastle here—had already decided the contest. The Balance tilted so decisively toward the visitors that Everton's 69th-minute consolation felt like applause at a funeral.
The VAR intervention at 64 minutes, disallowing Barry's goal for handball, was the match's only moment of genuine intrigue. Otherwise, Newcastle controlled the Upset narrative from kickoff. Everton managed 10 shots to Newcastle's 13, but the quality gap was a chasm—8 shots on target for the visitors versus just 2 for the home side. xG told the same story: Newcastle 1.92, Everton 1.00.
This wasn't a thriller. It was a training ground execution dressed up as a Premier League fixture. Both teams sit on 18 points, but Newcastle's clinical finishing and Everton's defensive negligence created an illusion of a wider gulf. The corner pressure (15 total) generated by Newcastle never materialized into sustained attacking rhythm—just efficient, ruthless finishing.
Key Questions
What made Malick Thiaw the Man of the Match?
Two goals from a centre-back is rare. Thiaw's positioning, heading dominance, and clinical finishing in the 1st and 58th minutes defined the match's trajectory entirely.
What caused the 5-goal thriller?
Newcastle's ruthless efficiency. Everton's defensive chaos. Early opener at 1st minute set the tone—Newcastle never looked back, converting 4 of 13 shots on target.
Why is this match rated 33/100?
One-sided scoreline, no genuine comeback threat, minimal tactical intrigue. Five goals without tension equals empty calories. VAR drama barely registered.
Pourquoi ce match est noté 50/100 ?
Notre algorithme Futmetrix a analysé l'intensité, l'équilibre et l'enjeu. Le score de 50/100 place ce match dans la catégorie "Moyen".
